D                    A
I don’t like hummus, I hate long lines
C               G
Nosey neighbors and Venetian blinds
D                   A    
Chirpy news anchors alter my mood
C                          G
I’m offended by buzzwords like awesome and dude
D                         A 
I look like a train wreck I feel like a blob
C                       G
Til you get to know me you may think I’m a snob
        D         A           A6        D
But I’m closer to heaven than I’ve ever been

I don’t eat sushi I don’t smoke grass
I don’t wear pajama’s I don’t drive fast
I hate idle gossip and wing tip shoes
Slick politicians give me the blues
I don’t like limo’s I don’t play golf
I don’t own a rifle that will blow your head off
But I’m closer to heaven than I’ve ever been

    Bm         D         Bm        D
I’m riding the wave from cradle to grave
    Bm          D       G            A  
I’m learning to feel my hands on the wheel

I love my friends I love my wife
My four little babies are the light of my life
I love Sissy Spacek I love Guy Clark
All the biscuits and gravy I can eat with a fork
I don’t want to be famous who gives a damn
I just want to be happy wherever I am
And I’m closer to heaven than I’ve ever been
I’m closer to heaven than I’ve ever been